Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Renewing the Mind in the Middle of Painful Change - Conclusion


I believe wholeheartedly that following Christ means a pathway of bends in the road, so we cannot see what lies ahead...but trust Him one day at a time.  I had no idea whatsoever what lay ahead when Caleb was born...but Jesus led me all the way.



After the hearing, I knew the decision would move at the pace of bureaucracy, and it would be months until I heard if we had prevailed or if we did not, which meant we would have to appeal to a higher level.

It was amazing the peace I had after that hearing.  I hardly thought about the decision.  Here was the timeline:
  • November 1997 - Caleb was hospitalized in Pittsburgh
  • January 1998 - Caleb went into a re-opened group home near me
  • March 1998 - Informed funding for those services would cease April 1; filed due process through Ohio Legal Rights Service against our local county board of developmental disabilities
  • July 1998 - Feature article about case appeared in The Cleveland Plain Dealer
  • August 1998 - Administrative hearing; then hearing before the county board members
It was December.  I was sitting in a conference room waiting to meet with folks running Caleb's group home to talk about a behavior plan or something.  Kevin, Ron, and Heidi walked in and congratulated me.  For what????

I had not heard yet.  But the board members reversed the superintendent's decision, and Caleb would continue to get residential services just minutes away from me.  I would remain his mother, guardian, decision-maker, advocate, case manager, and his constant.  Caleb would be assured of a life of safety, contentment, and functioning to his highest potential.

So back to Genesis 50:20:  
You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
So how did Caleb's autism and this decision affect the lives of others?  I don't have enough time, but here are a just a few ways.

  • A new group home was created based on Caleb's needs making openings for 3 additional guys to have a place in a residential setting.  (There are long waiting lists!)
  • Caleb's needs created 14 autism specialized classrooms in our local school district.
  • Because of my experience and my job, I was able to walk beside a parent during her two-year journey with her son to fight this same fight. 
And I could go on...

I still hurt daily and yet the tears are what create the rainbows I've experienced to see God's hand on Caleb's life.  Without the renewal of God's word and leaning totally on Him (and not following after the idols of power/control, affirmation/approval, and security/comfort), I would not have made it.

But as the Psalmist wrote, "Surely the Lord has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes!"


26 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your (and Caleb's) story. Thank you for showing how God can turn a negative into a positive.

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    1. Thank you, Carol. I need the reminders of His grace daily.

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  2. You are an inspiration Denise to all of those out there that need help and support.

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    1. Viv - Helping others brings meaning. To give to others what was so graciously given to me.

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  3. Denise, this is what I was hoping to hear. Bless you for taking the time and enduring the sorrow so that you could share The Big Picture. I SO need to hear this, to have God - thru you - reaffirm what I truly believe. I can go on yet another day, stronger because of His Promise.

    xoxo

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    1. Cindy - Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Sometimes it is half a moment by half a moment... It was painful to write...more than I anticipated. Then doing a presentation as well. But I believe God will use it...if for no one else but me.

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  4. A riveting story that stole my heart--thank you, Denise, for sharing this with us. I also enjoy your photography and edits so very much!

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    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. It is quite a story. I am so grateful that God does not allow us to see too far down the road.

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  5. Very moving and inspirational story and I know it was difficult to relive and share but so glad you did.

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    1. Thanks, Dotti...it was! But it is the conflict in a story that makes it worth telling and the ending worth pursuing.

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  6. So many times we ask "how can good come of this?" If we only trust and allow God to work through and with us, we can be used to help others, just as you did! Such an inspiring story!

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    1. Cathy - I still ask myself this as Caleb continues to struggle in life. I will never totally understand it, but I know that God has used it.

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  7. I love this! How great is it that God brought such an incredible victory! You are changing lives!
    http://www.bethanyboring.com

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    1. Bethany - Thank you for your encouragement. Caleb continues to be courageous in a world that can be very painful for him. But I know that it could be so much worse. And I KNOW God knows what He is doing.

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  8. I'm here from the 31 dayers Facebook page...I came to comment today, but went back to read the whole story. How inspiring! Good for you for doing what was right for your son and for trusting God through the process. May God bless you!

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  9. Wow! Just went back and read this last week's posts... what a great testimony. I love how you brought in Nehemiah- such a powerful book. Fighting for our own family, sword in one hand, building with the other. Thank you for sharing your story! Prayers for you. What an impact!

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    1. It's been almost 20 years since that sermon in Nehemiah...and it is as fresh as today! God's word NEVER returns void.

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  10. Tears and smiles as I've read your story. Life is such a mixture and I rejoice that the Lord provided for you, your son, and others in this process. He was a beautiful baby who has become a handsome young man.

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    1. Your encouragement on my posts keep me going!!!!!!

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  11. Thank you for sharing this story! So inspiring x

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  12. What a story! Thanks for being so open and sharing about your journey. Blessings to you!

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    1. It takes courage to be vulnerable and to show our humanity. I am so humbled that God can use it.

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  13. You are brave! Thank you for sharing your story. (You need to "meet" my dear friend Annette, whose 29 year old son Clay is nonverbal and severely disabled with cerebral palsy. She fights daily for Clay's rights and the rights of those parents who choose to be the 24/7/365 caregivers.)

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    1. Olivia - I would love to meet Annette. There's a lot of "us" out there.

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Every comment is read personally by me and is deeply appreciated!