Monday, August 6, 2012

Journaling Journeys ~ Another Detour

Again...back to this quick photo shoot of my journals...yeahrightsure...quick! <smile>



So I pulled out all the completed..."written-in" journals...the top one is my current journal.



But of course...there was no way I would be able to refrain from just a peek inside for a minute.  And these were ONLY from the past decade (my older ones are in boxes).



So much of this journal pictured above helped me get through a very challenging time in my life--the end of my marriage.  I'm talking about saving my very self from his verbal abuse that would eat me alive if I'd have stayed.  This was the year I endured and planned to get away.   Written on the top of the page is a wonderful quote I had found by an incredibly gifted neurosurgeon, Dr. Ben Carson, who also knew a childhood of disadvantage and a single parent household.
A victim walking through sand looks down and sees dirt; a victor sees the ingredients for building a castle.



This is a list of things that I could enjoy that would not cost me a cent.  I knew I was walking a way from a six-figure household income, but I knew, despite the sacrifice, if I could view what I was gaining, and not what I was losing, I could build that castle.



Yet,  what I was facing, shown in this December 2001 entry, was daunting...especially not having my mother, my closest friend, to walk through this with me as her Alzheimer's could no longer be ignored.



And yet, when I was overwhelmed or discouraged...God provided a personal gift, this one in a fortune cookie, that would change my perspective and I'd save it in my journal.



And God brought others in my life who could help me with my codependency and issues that clouded my eyes to the abuse and allow it to happen.  One dear friend was Debbie, living in California, who introduced me to some of the work by Melody BeattieLundy Bancroft,  Dr. Irene, and Patricia Evans.  And I had saved treasures in my journal that I uncovered while doing this work.



And finding contentment and peace as a single person for almost 9 years, the Lord surprised me with the love of my life, my best friend forever.  But God, in His wisdom, knew I would never be ready for such a gift, until I allowed Him to do the healing and work in me, by my surrender to the process.  And as I sprinted through these journals remembering...these records of God's faithfulness to me...I was humbled and wondered how could I have ever question His goodness ever again.

With gratitude,

 Photobucket

17 comments:

  1. LOVE love love this post Denise, absolutely and truly love it!
    So much wisdom and faith in life (trust the process) ;-)
    It must be a wonderful thing to have all those journals to look in to from time to time. I buy one now and then, but I never get myself writing in them, not taking the time to do that, and that is a real pity. But you know what? I just realized that this is the second time in two days I have been remembered of my "need" and wishings to write a journal, so that must absolutely mean something! (sorry for sometimes poor english...)
    So, my humble thanks to you for reminding me!
    Have a wonderful day!
    Marie (BTS)

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  2. Denise what lovely journals and thank you for sharing them with me I am honoured that you feel safe enough to share I'm afraid I haven't quite got to that point in my journey yet.....

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  3. a beautiful post Denise.... so much of your heart shines in this......

    thank you for sharing.... beautiful.... xo

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  4. Powerful post. Your words resonant.
    I often wished I had journalled, (I think they called it a diary in my day!) but I didn't. I still don't, but I have found a love of writing since the early days of he Word-processor. My "journals" are all digital, scattered about on various hard-drives, floppy disks, CD, and DvD. I greatly admire your work, here.

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  5. What a wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm amazed by your courage and strength.

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  6. Thank you for sharing Denise. I love it when God gives us the insight to look back and see the path traveled and how we have changed and grown with His help along the way.

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  7. LindaF.(Beyond Layers #1)August 8, 2012 at 10:02 AM

    Sorry- about filling in the Website link - I somehow submitted before I edited..

    LindaF

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  8. Beautyful post Denise. Very moving. Thank you for opening your heart to us. Love to you

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  9. I love your journal images and I marvel at your strength and perseverance in the face of adversity. I have a stack of older journals too but have yet to go back and read them. I'm sure Iw would meet another person there.

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  10. Denise, your open heart is so inspriational. Thank you for your willingness to share.

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  11. What wonderful photos, quotes and beautiful hand writing! I have written journals on an off for years. Most of the time I used them to vent my frustrations, anger and worry over finances. I have picked up an old one from time to time, especially the ones created during the time my husband was probably developing his cancer, to see if there were any clear signs. Why? Because I am a cause and effect kind of gal; precision and accuracy are important to me. Nothing I read there can bring him back, so I stopped. Thank you for being so open and so inspirational.

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  12. Such a treasure, I know we should revisit where we've been once in awhile to see how far we come and remember how great the transformation. I rarely journal, but found an old one recently, and OMG. It does bring you to your knees. Your photos are incredible. Makes me want to write more, but that means I need to get off the computer.LOL

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  13. Beautiful post and lovely photos to accompany it. I rarely journal, but your post has inspired me to do so more often....I'm so happy that it helped you through your difficult times.

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  14. Lovely post. Thank you so much for opening yourself to us. Blessings to you

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  15. Wow, lovely, lovely post. I am speechless at all this loveless! and so admire you. Writing is so healing and provides such growth. Your journals are a true statement to you and your character and the strong woman you no doubt are. And yes, your handwriting is an art of it's own as are your photos. Thank you so much for sharing this.

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  16. How beautiful your books are. And the smell of a new one and all that hope. I could never stick with journaling, but I guess that my blog is that.

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  17. [...] my previous posts, looking at my past journals reminded me of the many small steps I have taken in my lifetime and [...]

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