One Little Word ~ One BIG Task

Who thought when I signed up for "One Little Word" with Ali Edwards that it would turn into such a big task?

 

Embracing is HARD...

We live in a world filled with sarcasm, cynicism, thanklessness, and irreverence.  It's as if nothing is sacred anymore.  It becomes "the norm"...without realizing how it effects us at all.  We are hard on each other and on ourselves.

This month I'm to be focusing on my health...which really means, to me, several things:

1.  Spiritual health
2.  Emotional and mental health
3.  Physical health

I'm not sure where this month would lead...but it was not what I expected...

It was suggested to me several years ago that I may have a form of adult ADHD.  It came from someone whose opinion I respect and thought it was worth looking into. 

At the same time, my father died six months after a terminal diagnosis.  I was in a new, demanding job (where I currently remain) and found myself lethargic, unable to focus, and really pressured to perform, despite my losses.  In other words...I was still on "proving ground."  I had just entered into a new marriage and was now totally responsible as my mother's power of attorney...with stacks of mail and on the fast track to learn Medicaid and Medicaid Part D and a multitude of other legalities...some with very strict deadlines...aiyiyi!

I was prescribed 20mg per day of Adderall.  It wasn't a miracle drug...but it did make a difference.  And being the only social worker at the time...I needed to focus and produce.  (I did not connect that a lot of this experience was normal grief reaction.)

But then I began to hear these words in my head of late, "I've not been the same since my dad died."  Now we're going on several years. 

Last week I had an epiphany...it correlated with when I started taking Adderall.  My experience was telling me that my job was so draining that I was useless once I got home...at least for any kind of social interaction beyond my husband, or take advantage of opportunities for fellowship or Bible study.  I had even said to someone that part of the sacrifice made for my job that I believe is a calling has been outside personal relationship.

--FLASHBACK--

I started seeing the faces of kids I counseled when I did child/adolescent therapy in inner-city Cleveland.  I always saw them after school.  I would see these big yawns the size of the Grand Canyon as they were coming off their Adderall they took for school.

My curiosity over this became too much...I just HAD to google...

I found an article, 5 Signs That You're Ready to Quit Adderall.  This article is about taking it as prescribed, as I had been...not abuse.

The number one reason people wanted to quit Adderall:  To get back a piece of myself that feels lost.

Hmmm...kinda similar to "I've not been the same since my dad died..."

So, I have three weeks under my belt...

It's a journey that is a marathon, not a sprint. 

It is an adjustment to find a new "normal"...and getting through the dopamine deprivation, the fatigue and sleepiness that is always at my heels...but it will go away over time.

But my words is "EMBRACE"...and I want to EMBRACE the real me...the person God created for His use and His glory.

Embracing is hard...when it takes a difficult journey as part of the embrace...

But I am reminded...

Your God is present among you,
a strong Warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love
and delight you with his songs.

 

Zephaniah 3:17 (The Message)

 

 

 

Queens for a Dinner!

So...how else did I recharge during my time off?  Get more green back in my world...??

Well...my one little word for the year if you remember is 'embrace'...

And the focus for February is Embrace My Health...not just for February...but I pick it up here...

Mental, physical, spiritual, emotional...(big task).  Just taking time off was addressing my mental health...but I bumped it up a notch...and went to  dinner with a friend...

but not just any friend...

(I'm also including photos from my Beyond Beyond - Day 3 class)

 

 

This introvert loves and adores people...but one-on-one, in small groups, or Edster and me out with another couple or two, at the most.  And I'm somewhat discerning (partly because if you enjoy people but aren't needy for people as some kind of way of filling up the empty parts of yourself...you can choose to spend quality time with  those you truly enjoy...who nurture you.  This is not to be equated with people you minister to or serve).

 

This friend I have spoken with and communicated over the past year...but it had been a long time since we were out together.  A long time...and if you knew both of our lives intimately you would understand why...(we both could be contestants on "Queen for a Day.")  (Sidebar:  for those of you who are aren't a baby boomer -- that was a game show where a women (about four) would come on and each give their sob story...and the audience would vote by applause for the most pathetic one.  The winner would be named Queen for a Day.  And what did she win?  New washers, dryers, pots, pans, kitchen appliances...and even girdles...so wrong on so many levels.  If think I'm kidding...you can check it out here.)

  

So both of us were Queens for dinner...our prize was quality time.

 

And where do we begin to catch up...our last names were both different, our children (who grew up together) were in different vocations, and yet...

 

In many ways, it was if no time had passed...because the connection remained...

 

Our greatest connection is our love for our Savior...the foundation...

 

But additionally...

 

...we had a long history of inside jokes...

      ...we both have random senses of humor...

             ...there's a depth that has come from adversity we've experienced

                  ...and we weaved in and out between sorrow and laughter easily and naturally.

 

 

So...we left...both of us...wanting more.  There were tons of questions and things I was curious about such as, "How did your daughter get into photography?" or "If you could do it all again would you change any of it?" or "What have you learned?"  or "Do your still really need more cowbell?"...

 

This was fellowship...this was nurturing...this energized me...quality over quantity will always be the theme of introverts in personal relationship...

 

It is these kind of relationships that we EMBRACE (there's that word)...

 

And just as if things couldn't get better...

 

I ordered Edster a sub sandwich to go...being from near Phillie, he's a connoisseur of subs...so after a night out with my fellow queen...he says, "This is the best sub I've had since I moved to Ohio..."

 

So I guess he was good with our time spent together, as well...

 

 

 

 

 









A Cuppa Challenge Connected to One Little Word

My Beyond Layers class is coming to an end...it's been an amazing year...learning so much about editing, photography, life, and myself...plus meeting some wonderful women.

Day 101 brought a specific Challenge from Kim...

Make (or take) a photo with the following 3 items: a cup, a book, and an accessory. (think creatively on the accessory.... perhaps a favourite thing or even something unexpected.)

Experiment with different light and perspectives until you create the just right look and feel for your photo.

Edit the photo using one or both of Monday's textures (chaos and calamity).

  

 

 

I knew I wanted to incorporate this book...I have just begun to scratch the surface in reading it.  It is Susan Cain's book name Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Cannot Stop Talking.  Knowing the book had strong colors of gray, bold red, and white...I knew my accessory choice would be limited.  I chose these red carnations.

 

This mug I had found just yesterday...I love the theme and the type was consistent with the font type on the book's dust jacket.  I loved the repeat of  the "Life is good" on the inside of the mug, as well.  I turned the tag on the teabag around to the plain side...typing the word "embrace"...my one little word.  Reading yesterday's post, you can see my reflection about embracing life and just to be born is a compliment from God.

 

But today it was around 60 degrees in Ohio in January...unheard of!  And I thought I would take my still outside to photograph...

 

 

The issue of introversion in a world that values extroversion is a new area of exploration for me...answering a lot of questions about myself and questioning if I've felt, at times, as if this value of extroversion has pressured me to live a double life at times?  This will be part of my year's pursuit in My Little Word in embracing who I truly am...with the unique gifts God has given me.

 

 



 

 

And then I wanted to bring to the forefront the words "a World That Can't Stop Talking."  I could not help but think about my son, Caleb, who cannot talk, but says so much, to people who stop and listen.  He communicates continually, if one takes the time to know him and read him.  He has touched many and has made lasting positive impressions on others in his own silent way.

 

But there is not a single person born who does not have a valuable contribution to the world...who has something to say.  As Susan Cain says, "Those with the best ideas are not always the ones doing all the talking."

 

This is going to be an interesting year!

 



Embracing Arthur

I'm embracing Arthur (remember my word for the year is embrace).  Have you met Arthur?  He was a surprising gift God led us to before Christmas...

I'm beyond having babies...and my grandboys have moved 2-1/2 hours away (and I don't think there will be any more)...and knowing Bruno's mortality at age 6...Edster and I started talking about bringing him a new buddy to be part of our family.

This is me holding Arthur with his sister, and Dentist Dave, the breeder.  I had to choose between these two.  He had a litter of 7, is keeping two (Kevin and Dorothy), sold three, owns the mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother who were all there...and they all were delightful!

Arthur is a full-blooded pedigree Pembroke Welsh Corgi...he is 1/4 Sammy Sosa, who was named the #1 Pembroke Welsh Corgi in the country by the American Kennel Club in 2001 and won the Herding Group at the Westminster Kennel Club Show at Madison Square Garden in 2002.  Arthur, Bruno, Edster and I will be watching together on February 11-12, 2013 this year.

But Arthur is just our companion...no showing for him.  I don't have the stomach for the politics and that was not my purpose.  We just wanted to be assured he came from good stock.  And how!

But that does not mean he does not get into trouble...he ended up with the same inmate number as another famous person.

Now Corgi's were bred to help herd cattle...very intelligent and agile, they were bred to be low to nip at heels of the cattle that they would herd in the fields of the British Isles, particularly Wales.  "Arthur" is Welsh for "bear".

Speaking of famous people, Queen Elizabeth II is well known for her Corgis who even made an appearance at the summer Olympics of 2012 in London.  You can see her here, along with other famous people with their Corgis including Stephen King, Ava Gardner, Kiefer Sutherland (24), Governor Jerry Brown, Julie Benz, Selma Blair, and Kirstie Allie.  Jennifer Aniston is pictured in the slide show but the hair of that dog doesn't jive with a Corgi...

But he is fitting in very well...even carrying on with Bruno.  He's gotten off the porch...

And loves his "flack jacket"...

And has incredible wisdom...look what he says about mistakes (of which he'll have many)...

And how everything is new and full of wonder and opportunities of exploration...just thrilled to be alive!

And it brings me back to all that I need to embrace...to take nothing for granted...to see all as a gift from the God I serve.  To be too busy in wonder and joy to ever complain...because you cannot be thankful and joyful at the same time you're complaining or whining.

Part of I Peter 1:8 tells us to, rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory... because we believe in Him, the source of all joy.

So today I embrace Arthur, who God uses, through his little, spirited life, how I am to be...as a child, full of wonder and joy and realizing that it is a compliment from God that I was born.

Back to My One Little Word - Embrace

I plunged into the One Little Word...

First assignment...think about how you will focus on your word each month...

Again, my word for 2013 is embrace.

Scrapping materials courtesy of Coppercurls Designs, and Katie Pertiet.

January - My focus is going to be on the variety of meanings of embrace and ponder how I can implement them in this coming year.

February - My focus is on embracing my health (emotional, physical, spiritual, mental)

March - My focus is on embracing my faith.  March is also the month of Easter.

April - My focus is on embracing others:  my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my friends, strangers, patients/families, co-workers, friends, neighbors.

May - My focus is on embracing who I am.  This process has already started evolving...more to come.

June - My focus is on embracing moments, although I'm thinking about changing it to "the ordinary."

July - My focus is on embracing change.  Change is hard, necessary, and inevitable.

August - My focus is on embracing difficulty...the key to growth.

September - My focus is on embracing discipline, in all areas, but my first thought was on spiritual disciplines.

October - My focus is on embracing gratitude...with extra intention.

November - My focus is on embracing my creativity.  To see it as not a hobby or luxury, but a necessity for me to breathe.

December - My focus is on embracing the work required in creativity - to show up - as well as the work that I do as my calling, as well as all the mundane tasks and responsibilities we all have as part of life.

What a year it will be...regardless...I will embrace 2013!

A Blank Page

January 1, 2013...

Admit it...there's something daunting about the first day of a new year...

I came across a quote from Brad Paisley:

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one.
 

I started a brand new journal for a brand new year...and on the first entry page was a quote by Alexander Stoddard:

What we feel, think, and do this moment influences both our present and the future in ways we may never know.  Begin.  Start right where you are.  Consider your possibilities and find inspiration...to add more meaning and zest to your life.
 

In yesterday's post I mentioned my word for the year is embrace.  Before I can move onto 2013, I must embrace all the days of 2012.  That means all the days...the hard ones, the sad ones, the mundane ones, the painful ones, the celebratory ones, the vacation ones, the stressful ones, the days that seemed to never end...

Every moment of my life is to be embraced...if I truly believe that all of it, all is grace. 

Lord, may I take the lessons learned from my failures, my shortcomings, my searchings...and apply them to this year as I continue to aim to be conformed into Your image...and not to suit my own agenda.

 

As 2012 Closes...

As 2012 has less than one hour left, I cannot help but reflect on the last 365 days...while others choose different ways to transition from the old to the new year.

One thing I discovered in 2012...

...the value of community of those who pursue a slower pace of life, who take the time to see, who take time to be present, who create with passion, and who thrive on their personal self-expression...

...finding them through several e-courses from Kim Klassen.  They have encouraged me, inspired me, understood me, and have become dear, kindred spirits.  They have taught me so much...

...and they are priceless to me.  True gifts from God.

And so have the courses been gifts as well...as I begin new ones as last year's classes come to a close.

One is called "One Little Word" with Ali Edwards.

It's about choosing one word to focus on in 2013...with intention.

And my word is...

You will learn more about this in the coming days...

...but tonight I'll say, "goodbye, dear 2012...and the many gifts you brought me...and not without pain..."

and wish all of you a 2013 filled with the very best God has...

...to receive with a thankful heart...

..and take heart that there is joy in our journey through 2013!