Mother's Day ~ It is Not About Me

Mother's Day...the first in my life without my mother...who sacrificed so much for me.

As I reflect on motherhood, I ponder how having a child turns the page on the book of one's life to a chapter where nothing is ever the same again.  I see mothers and their children every day in my work at the hospital.  I have had my own experiences with motherhood.  Actually, I believe motherhood begins at the time of conception.  And nothing is guaranteed. And the Bible reminds me that, "you are not your own" and, therefore, from that moment...it is not about me...it's about God and His will.

• God does not promise to you, a mother, that your baby will survive pregnancy or delivery.
• As a mother, God may require you to give your child more as a gift to an adoptive family.
• Without ever knowing why, your baby may be born with a disability or chronic disease.
• There is no guarantee that your baby in his life will not experience trauma or premature death.
• As a mother, you may face the sorrow of your little one to grow up to be rebellious and in trouble with the law.
• God does not guarantee that your baby will live happily ever after without struggle.

But He calls us to trust Him and to love those children with whom we have been entrusted.  Sometimes that love has to be tough but always unconditional.  I watched my mother trust God and love me when at times I caused her pain and disappointment.  She was obedient and faithful.

With my children, to this day, I have felt salty tears on my cheeks when my hopes and dreams have been crushed, but my love has been sustained.  

Motherhood has brought me immense joy.  But it has also brought with it loss and suffering.  And I cling to Him in this lifelong responsibility.  And so every day I hold my hands up high, palms up, knowing my children are not mine, but His ~ and laying them at His feet daily is my greatest responsibility.

I am grateful for this honor...

Small Steps

I've been engrossed in organizing my Photoshop brushes since the weekend...what a job!  But so worth it...knowing what I have is a real plus!  I got some great tips and a template from Nanette Dalton, writing for Digital Scrapper.  But I feel like it will take forever but...I'll get there taking small steps.

So in light of this huge organizational task and after reading Kim's Texture Tuesday today and Day 59 from Beyond Layers yesterday...this is where my inspiration took me.

 

You need to be content with small steps; steps you take every day so when you look down the road  it all adds up and you know you've covered some distance.

-K. Kavincsky

These were flowers that my Edster bought for me...I put them in a porcelain white pitcher and looked down over them on the front porch and snapped this photo.

 In my work, I am always telling families to be gentle with themselves and to acknowledge all that they are carrying and managing with having a child with chronic/complex illness, plus other competing demands.  And yet, I fail to follow my own advice.

As Kim spoke of yesterday, we are all faced with strengths and weaknesses, areas where we can improve or do better...and there's some things I know I will NEVER be good at.  (I'm so glad wallpaper is no longer en vogue as it was in the 1980s, remember?  I will NEVER have the patience for THAT tedium... Laura Ashley and Waverly were major brands in those days...), but I digress.

I think the television coverage of the Olympic games  may possibly have unintended consequences.  With world records crumbling on the hour, we fail to see the multiplicity of small steps that got those athletes to that point.  In a world with instant information, instant drive thru meals, and the pervasive entitled attitude of American society...the value and virtue of short-term sacrifice for long-term rewards has become passe'.

In my previous posts, looking through my old journals reminded me of the many small steps I have taken in my lifetime and the distance I've covered...growth I've achieved...just by showing up every day, putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.  There were no giant leaps...no gain without pain.  But the dailyness of it all can so blind me of it all...

So celebrate your small steps...the multitude of small steps you have taken every day...knowing that they not only take you to places you never dreamed possible...but that the joy is in the journey and God's mercies are abundant along the way!

With gratitude,